Advocacy
How am I to help? What's my role in all of this?
I ask myself this question often. And the answer I come up with is always the same thing. I don't know. I can never forget my childhood and adolescence. While many people like to reminisce about the good ol' days, I would still prefer to not think about most of what happened during the first 18 years of my life.
This being said, I can't forget. No matter how much I numb or dissociate.
I never want another thing capable of feeling to experience what I went through. How do I stop this from happening? How do i prevent the suffering of another person?
I don't think I can. I can create a business that's more than a business. I can create a symbol for people to believe in (in the case of rings it's more like telling a story). I'm a good writer. I can convey my points well. I can offer support and comradarie for those around me when they need it. I can create a small social pressence and use it to remind people that they're enough. Use it to showcase the prevalence of the things I was forced to go through. I can volunteer and help out in the local community.
I can show people it's possible to do incredible things no matter what your personal history is. No one would have blamed me for giving and curling into a ball. I would have been another example of how life breaks us all.
The truth is, no one knows my full story. There are still many things I'm not ready to talk about. I'm not a saint. I've done many things that fill me with intense pain and sorrow. And I exercise compassion for myself. I had to make choices a young boy will never be prepared to make.
When I think of advocacy, I think of social activists dedicating their entire life to a cause. But at the end of the day, I don't know if I can do that. Human trafficking is not who I am. I was a child born into a horrible circumstance. One who is now growing older and trying to heal the wounds carried from that time.
I think it's impossible to prevent the suffering of myself or others. What I can do, is be there for myself, show up for me in the ways I never permitted in the past, and be there for others when they need it.
I think it's possible for all of us to be advocates for what we value. Sometimes it's standing up for ourselves. Sometimes others. Sometimes it's grand acts, volunteering, rallies, and laying our lives on the line. Other times it's small. Like reaching out a hand to help someone up. Or tying a single thread around a young boy's finger.
I am an activist. For myself, and for those around me.